Shooting Star Apple Pie

(see full image)

This is the second apple pie I have ever made in my entire life.  I think I tried making one when I was 18 or 19.  At the time, I had no clue that over kneading pastry dough ruined it.  That early pie was disgusting.

I made some pastry dough the other night for a leftover Turkey pot pie recipe I got from The Pioneer Woman.  (On a side note, this was the most delicious pot pie dish I have ever had.)

I had some leftover dough and some wonderful green Golden Delicious apples I had picked up from Wally World of all places.  I unfortunately do not have a picture of this first epically delicious Pie.

My husband declared my first pie such a success that he demanded an encore.

This is my second Apple Pie.  I used the apple pie recipe from the Joy of Cooking, passed down to me from my grandmother.  I call this the Shooting Star Apple Pie.  I handcut all of the little stars on top of the crust.  I think the next pie that I make I would like to make the entire covering from little stars.  I think this would look amazing on a blueberry or cherry pie.  But unfortunately I have passed beyond the season of fresh delicious cherries or blueberries, so I will have to wait until next year. 

mmmmmmm . . .  pie for the holidays!

Who am I?

I wrote the title to this post and now I am just sitting here.

And I left this post to think about it for a couple of hours.

I suppose I could give expected monikers: mother, crafter, wife, etc. etc. etc.

But each of those things on its own does not define who I am.  And all of those things together do not define who I am, either.

But I have found that I am very passionate about my sewing.  Every project I undertake I have to push myself just a little bit farther.  I like working with fabrics that are hard to work with because often the results are so amazing.  I love the challenge of a hard project.

I have also learned that I have quite a knack for cooking and baking.  I always thought I couldn't cook but it seems I have some hidden talent.  I made an apple pie completely from scratch the other night.  I think my husband loves me more now for it.

But none of these things really define me.  I hope that as this blog progresses I can give more of a sense of who I am with out having to spell it out.

My First Quilt

I finally finished my first Quilt.  Its from a pattern by Jacquie Gering of Tall Grass Prairie Studio.  Its the pocket change quilt patten.  The pattern was written to be the size of a crib quilt.  I enlarged it to be 5 feet square.  Hopefully this will be a lap quilt she will treasure for a long time.  This was a present for my daughter for her 5th birthday.  (Goofy boy in the picture, BONUS)

My House

I am in a decorating crisis.

My home decor does not match the personality I thought I had.

There are mounds of junk on top of my fridge.
I don't have crown molding or chair rails.
My walls are a semi white, meaning you can see the paint roller lines.
The bathroom has beige in it.
None of my furniture matches.
I don't have a bread box.
The bedside tables in my bedroom don't match.  Well, none of the furniture matches.
There is nothing clever in the children's room and only some of the furniture matches.
 I don't have any modern graphic art.

And I don't plan to change a thing about ANY of it.  I see so many homemaker blogs with perfect everything.  I felt myself becoming envious.  I was envious of the perfection and superbly clean lines.  I felt like I couldn't blog about my life because my life wasn't crisp and perfect.

Maybe my life isn't crisp and perfect.  Some days I sit and wish everything matched and my paint scheme was perfect.  But that isn't me.   My life is a kaleidoscope of colors. 

I have 2 giant bookshelves stuffed with books; I love that my kids can grab any book and learn just about anything. 
The walls in my house aren't perfect because the previous tenant was an old Medicine Man named Bearheart (not sure which tribe).  He used to burn giant fires in our fireplace.  All of the ceilings are a little smoke smuggered.
All of my furniture pieces were hand-me-downs or slowly acquired through my years with my husband.
I wish I could afford art for the walls.  But what I do have is my stepmom, Seldom Seen Susan Golightly's wonderful art.  She is so amazing.
I want to decorate the kids room, someday.  Right now my little boy and little girl share a room.  I always believed that a bunch of stuff in the room was never conducive to sleeping.  I would get nightmares from random stuff on the walls as a kid.

I am getting to the point where I love my house and its colors.

Carpe Diem

I think I have done it.  I quit my job.  My dreams of sewing more and more are coming true.  I find now that my biggest hurdles now are balancing time with my family and time at the machine.  But really, when you are struggling to balance life between two things you love, there really is no struggle.

Today I am going to work on some little handheld bags.  They are marketed as "hamburger bags" and I simply detest that name.  Well see what I come up with.  I have some to die for moustache fabric that I cant decide what to do with.  I am tempted to make one large bag with it.  My original plan was to make a bunch of tiny bags.  Well see what I get around to.

It has been almost 2 months since I quit my job.  I did it with a weeks notice.  I am still reeling.  I haven't felt the permanence fall over me yet.  After all, I have spent the last 2 winters at home convalescing from surgery.  I suspect that when spring rolls around all of this will seem real. 

I really do need to start work on my projects for my little shop.  I think I have something akin to writers block.  I have piles of beautiful fabric and I hate to see it go.  Plus each fabric piece has unlimited potential when uncut and then suddenly becomes limited when I cut into it.

My satisfaction from my creations comes from seeing my customers reactions to those creations.

I am really excited about where my life might take me.  I always wanted to move but I just couldn't, for whatever reason was hassling me at the time.  But now I have made the decision to put in my resume elsewhere.

But no responses have come in.

So now I am struggling with the constant, silent rejection of no one wanting to interview me.  I don't know if the universe is trying to tell me to pursue fabrics and crafts.  I really feel there is a stark deficit of decent fabric shops where I live.  The ones that are here are, sorry to say this, but filled with retirees.  I want to put some kind of spark in the young mothers of my town.  I really feel like more women would sew if they knew what an enjoyable experience it is.  It is also very easy to learn with the right teacher. 

But starting a store is even scarier to me than moving a state away.  I wouldn't know where to start.  And considering I need to start from scratch, its going to take a while.

I have a constant feeling that I am being called to something.  But it is very ethereal.  I can't hear the voice and I don't know what direction I am supposed to go in.  But every rejection I get from Labs all over the country falls mutely.  I haven't been as sad or as grieved as I thought I would be.  Its as if that wasn't meant to happen.

I keep thinking of two quotes, which are my driving force, "Be the change you want to effect" and "Some people are so poor, all they have is money".

I just wish I knew the right answer.  I asked a magic 8 ball last night if I would get the job in Tennessee and it said "yes".  But I found out today I got rejected by that lab, so what does that stupid thing know anyway.

People keep telling me to teach.  I would love to teach classes.  About fabric and sewing. 

Hrm . . . . Any thoughts?